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A Tale of Two Tamars, Part 2
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A Tale of Two Tamars, Part 2
Copyright © April 30, 2011 Douglas W. Jerving.
All Rights Reserved.
In the following series of articles we will examine the lives of two women in the Old Testament
and what we can learn from them to help us as believers today. Both women are named Tamar, and the
first one we will study is actually the second in the historical records. Thus, we will look at
David’s daughter Tamar in 2 Samuel 13:1-22 first. Second, we will look at Tamar from the patriarchal
era in Genesis 38:6-30.
2 Samuel 13:1-22
Part 2: The Consequences
Tamar is beautiful, she is pure, she is a god-fearing woman, she is obedient to her faith, and is
a virgin of the king’s daughters. No doubt she could keep a house in the broadest sense of the
term (Prov 31). She was a good cook (verses 7-9) and surely could embroider and sew, and do all
the things that an esteemed daughter of Israel and of the king’s household, would be capable of
doing. She no doubt was capable of holding her own ground in any discussion of the day, being the
daughter of two ruling families. She was well versed in the laws of ancient Israel (v. 12). From
every angle, Tamar would have been a virtuous wife and an asset to the home of her future husband.
For which of these things does Amnon hold her in such contempt?
For Amnon, Tamar was prey to be hunted, or a spoil to be awarded a conqueror. He envied her goodness
and covetously wanted to own it for himself. In her virginity she was unobtainable, which made her
all the more desirable. In her refusal to his advances she was a higher hurdle to jump to obtain
the prize. Her adamant “No!” was, in his twisted mind, like that of every sex offender, a hidden
and coyly challenging “Yes!”
Tamar having been barred from the house by Amnon’s servant (v. 18) as if she were a common peasant
woman returns to Absalom’s house in great distress (v. 19). She tears her garments, puts ashes on
her head and covers her head with her hand.
The robe of many colors (long flowing sleeves most likely) was the attire worn by the virgin
daughters of royalty. Tearing it symbolized her having been humbled against her will. The ashes
remind us of the precarious nature of life and that what we have is soon lost in death (see Job
2:8; 30:19; 42:6; Ps 102:9).
The hand on the head was an attempt to return her lost veil, probably stolen by Amnon, back to
her head. The veil, a headcovering, was the symbol of her holiness, chastity (virginity more
specifically), and submission to God (Gen 24:64-65. See also Song of Songs 5:7, where the watchmen
remove the Shulammite’s head covering, presupposing her to be a prostitute). Her headcovering was
for Amnon, the most visible piece of Tamar’s attire threatening his unchaste desires against her.
Her headcovering unambiguously declared her inaccessibility to him. It most likely was one of the
first things that he forcibly robbed from her.
Tamar does not go silently. She refuses to take on a victim mentality. She is vocal in her weeping
declaration for all to hear. She uses the body language of destroying the garments of her virginity,
and the bitter cry of her heart to declare her lost status. She refuses to be silent as is often
the tendency of many rape victims. (Women who experience sexual violence often avoid public
denouncement of the perpetrator since this can lead to a further sense of violation due to the
intrusive nature of the interrogation of the crime.) Even though she may be interrogated later,
and forced to relive her humiliation, she does not cover up the crime against herself.
Terribly, and to their shame, both Tamar’s brother and father, after understanding what has taken
place, do cover over the crime. Tamar is further victimized when they refuse to do her justice.
In Absalom’s case, he actually tells his sister to be quiet! Shut up. Quit talking about it! “He
(Amnon) is your brother.” While Absalom implies that Tamar should forgive and forget, it is really
in his heart to avenge his own (perceived) lost honor. He is concerned that Tamar may bring a
discredit to him by bringing charges against Amnon. He is concerned with the court politics more
than the fact that his sister has been treated disreputably. Thus she needs to be silenced. Later,
he will deal with Amnon. For now, he just wants his sister to cease her charges against the man
because it creates for Absalom a political disadvantage.
Possibly worse is her father David’s reaction. It was because of David’s own command that Tamar
was put in harm’s way in the first place. It was certainly not too hard for a wise old king to
have suspected that there had been less than pristine motivations behind Amnon’s request for his
sister’s presence. It is hard to imagine David had not previously seen his firstborn swooning over
his sister. David knew the inner workings of lust. He had allowed it in his own life before, and
now he was promiscuously allowing it in his son.
David (v. 21), is angry, but does nothing! There is no true justice administered for Tamar. David
hoped to preserve his firstborn son for the throne, even though the law demanded his execution.
David quite possibly also feared popular opinion. He might be viewed as a hypocrite who demands
others to do what he says and not what he does. His anger is consequently without teeth. It is a
pretense. And with it, Tamar is victimized once more. First her father did nothing to prevent her
abuse, and then he did nothing to vindicate her and bring closure for her against her enemies.
Conclusion
In Tamar we see much more than the victim of a heinous crime. She never allows herself to view
herself as a mere victim. Her story is of a woman who is strong in her faith towards God despite
the tragic events in her life and the terrible abuses experienced at the hands of more than one
trusted person in her life. Because of her intrinsic value, power, beauty, success, purity, and
so on, she becomes the target of the envy and covetousness of the perpetrator.
Tamar was a woman of powerful integrity before the assault and she displays the same power
afterwards. The men that she should have been able to trust to defend her integrity attempted
to quench that power. She did lose the battle against the male dominated social strata of her
day, but she never lost her glory in God’s eyes. The perpetuation of her story for now nearly
3000 years is evidence that she never lost her dignity. Nor did Tamar ever lose her authority
as a daughter of Israel, and of God. She is the perfect illustration of what the Apostle Paul
says about the believer in Christ in 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 (KJV):
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God,
and not of us. [We are] troubled on every side, yet not distressed; [we are] perplexed, but not
in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in
the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our
body. For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of
Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. So then death worketh in us, but life in you.
We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have
I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak; Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus
shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present [us] with you. For all things [are] for your
sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.
For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward [man] is renewed
day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding
[and] eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things
which are not seen: for the things which are seen [are] temporal; but the things which are not seen
[are] eternal.
Endnote:
I am much indebted to the author of the reference work listed below for her many observations
about the life of Tamar and their social implications:
Rlaine Neunfeldt, Sexual violence and power. The case of Tamar in 2 Samuel 13:1-22
in Journal of Latin American Hermeneutics, 2007 - Instituto Universitario ISEDET.
(PDF file found on: www.isedet.edu.ar/journal/violence.pdf. Originally accessed on April 28, 2011).
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Doug Jerving is the publisher of the NewEdisonGazette.com. You may contact him at
dje@newedisongazette.com.
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