No Gurus Allowed

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No Gurus Allowed

Copyright © 2001 Douglas W. Jerving.
All Rights Reserved.

Isn't it funny how the Internet has taken on the trappings of a religious movement?

We have our gurus, and our masters, all the experts who for a small donation will teach us the ropes. I find it interesting that when you pay up and start reading their group forums, there are still plenty of folks in their little group who are dissatisfied with what they've been given... Who realize they've been to the circus and got trapped in one of the sideshows!

We have our special words or incantations; our mantras that will draw customers in like a magnet. You've seen them. "Seven Words that will Draw Customers like Flies to Honey" "The One Sentence You Must Use to Make Them Buy NOW!" And we're all enamored with free internet classifieds, Free-For-All sites, and of course, email! Just email your way to Customer Nirvana! I've got news for you friends: you'll never build an organization on email! Not one that buys anyway. Email is just a worldwide penpal made of people you don't really know who are only on your list to try to sell YOU their product.

We have our secret rituals and cultic tricks that when performed will send the masses flocking to us begging to be converted. If we are the amongst the faithful initiates (who are thereby willing to pay our tithe) we can be privy to those techniques. Of course, you can only get them from the masters.

We have our own versions of philosophical adjuncts: Why are we here? Where are we from? Where are we going? What is our purpose?, Heaven for the righteous, hell for the damned, etc. One of the biggest is philosophical misgivings of Internet marketers is "If you build it they will come." Face it friends, even Noah got only two respondents of each kind from his animal marketing efforts!

Another false belief of many on the web is that you can build a great site in less than an hour, walk away from it and it'll make money hand over fist. Going back to Noah, it took him 120 years to build a boat that would be successful enough to do what he required. Be patient! Spend some time learning! If you're not willing to do that, you may as well go back to your day job, 'cause you won't make any money here.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not against religious experience in its proper place. True religion is preeminently a matter of the heart, not the sacred realm of the priesthood who thereby lord it over the people. It is faith toward God, Who gave us all things... not man. Truth does exist, and there usually is only one right way to do things. As with most religion today however, we tend to compartmentalize things. We put them into boxes,and label them with whatever denominational flavoring we prefer, and then we "charge the people a dollar and a half just to see 'em". "Pave paradise, put up a parking lot".

Call me "egalitarian". Say I believe to much in "democratization". Charge me with heretical views that both "demystify" and / or "demythologize". Call me a liberal, call me what you will. I'm just tired of the Mumbo-jumbo and Latin we throw around for new people to wallow in to prove how important and worthy of a hearing we are!

Isn't it time we realize we are all teachers with a small "T", and none of us are gurus! Even in the smallest of ways each one of us has something we can teach others, or something we can learn from others. It's time for us to open Pandora's box and realize the ghosts don't really exist there. They're only in your head (if you believe in them).

So again I ask...

Isn't it funny how the Internet has taken on the trappings of a religious movement? Or is it just scary? Or... just plain dumb.

Douglas W. Jerving


Doug Jerving is the publisher of the You may contact him at


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